There are some days where I’m having a blast with my friends and other days where I think I’m annoying them and that I don’t deserve to be friends with them because they’re popular and I’m not.
I feel so out of place and that I don’t belong anywhere in the youtaite community sometimes. I feel like no matter what, everyone thinksthey’re above me and make me feel like a lesser being. Maybe it is true though, which is why I sometimes feel like I don’t deserve the friends I have now. I don’t feel like I’m part of the group, part of any group. I’m just a second choice. I’m always afraid to speak up, otherwise it might annoy them. I’m afraid to ask for help for let’s say, mixing covers or to duet with me, cuz I’m afraid of rejection, annoying them, worsening my friendship with them like Im taking advantage of them when I’m not. I’m especially afraid of asking for critiques from some of the people who I look up to because they might think I have a terrible voice or that I’m sending them my cover just to listen and create the chance that they have to compliment me when they really don’t.
I just feel like I don’t belong.
Sorry, I just had to vent.